MICRO MISCONCEPTS

10th October 2025

Issue# 014

How I Finally Stopped Worrying About What Other People Think of Me

Eleanor Roosevelt said this nearly a century ago...

...and yet here we are, still paralysed by imaginary judgements.

We all know the advice: stop caring what others think. The logic is sound - most people aren't thinking about you anyway, you can't read minds, and you certainly can't control what anyone thinks.

But knowing this intellectually and actually living it is different. That's where I stayed stuck for years, nodding along while still losing sleep over casual comments from that day. Not worrying about what others think is easier said than done because we are social animals, wired to care what other people think of us.

The breakthrough came when I stopped fighting my defaults head-on and learned to work with them instead.

Here are three ways I learned to finally operationalise this timeless wisdom:

1. Use Your Ego to Your Advantage

Whenever I catch myself worrying about someone’s opinion, I ask myself: “gee, do I really think I’m so special that they’re spending their energy thinking about me?”. Sounds silly, but this little ego check works because it appeals to my identity as someone who values humility.

2. Zoom Out to Gain Perspective

Our brains have a tendency to overvalue immediate rewards (social approval now) at the expense of long-term benefits (being unconcerned with others’ opinions) - something known as hyperbolic discounting. This makes that awkward interaction feel massive right now, even when it’s objectively trivial.

The antidote is mental time travel. I picture myself at 95, looking back at this moment. Will I care what this person thinks of me then? If not, why should I care now? This instantly shrinks today’s anxieties to their rightful size.

3. Weaponize Loss Aversion

Every minute I spend worrying about someone else’s opinion is time that could have been invested elsewhere. Am I really going to use my finite and constantly depleting time on imaginary problems beyond my control?

When I frame it this way, the opportunity cost is crystal clear - what a terrible investment. Leverage your fear of wasting your finite time.

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Making the Change

Pick one method above that resonated with you and commit to trying it for one week.

Each time you catch yourself spiraling, use your chosen reframe. Consistency matters more than perfection. After practicing it enough times, something magical happens - there comes a day when you realise that familiar knot of worrying simply isn’t there anymore. You’ve shifted your defaults without realising it.

Which method resonated most with you? And when will you start using it?

Thanks for reading!

Learn more at misconcepts.org​

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