Micro Misconcepts

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Three Ways to Feel Grateful When Lists Stop Working

14th November 2025 | misconcepts.org

You know that sinking feeling when your gratitude practice starts to feel like a chore?

I’ve been there.

We're well-versed in the importance of gratitude. We commit to listing three things we're grateful for each day. Day one feels great. By day five, you're staring at a blank page, resisting the temptation to recycle yesterday's entries just to tick the box.

Ironically, a practice meant to be beneficial has become a burden. And you wonder if there's something wrong with you.

Here's what I've learned: Mechanically listing things you're grateful for doesn't automatically create feelings of gratitude. It just fills a page.

So I started experimenting. Today I share three methods that actually worked for me. They shifted how I experience gratitude, not just how I document it.

Method 1: What I Have That I Once Wanted

I think about who I was three years ago and what I hoped for back then. Then I reflect on what I have now.

The job I thought I wasn't good enough for but now have. The crippling anxiety I thought I'd never overcome but did. The relationship I longed for but now sometimes take for granted. The things I thought I could never do but now do with ease. Past me would be amazed.

By remembering what life was like without these things, then realising you have them now, you immediately appreciate them a lot more.

Brené Brown puts it this way:

But flip that around – met expectations are silent sources of contentment we constantly overlook because we're too busy chasing the next milestone.

Method 2: What I Could Lose (But Haven’t)

This one's uncomfortable but powerful. Think about something bad happening. Then remember that it hasn't.

I imagine my partner receiving a stage 4 cancer diagnosis. Then I remember he's healthy. Suddenly, that ordinary Tuesday morning feels precious.

Or I picture an earthquake destroying my home – no clean water, sleeping in a shelter, uncertain when I'll have a bed again. Then I look around and realise I can walk to my tap right now, turn on hot water, and sleep in my own bed tonight.

We often take for granted the health, stability and security we experience daily because these have largely been reliable. But they're never guaranteed. By imagining what it would be like to lose them, we immediately value them more.

G.K. Chesterton wrote:

You don't need to wait for loss to feel grateful.

Method 3: What I Compare To

We tend to compare up, then feel inadequate. But social comparison works in the other direction too. When we take a moment to compare down, we gain perspective.

I think about people who'd trade places with me in a heartbeat. Someone sleeping rough tonight who'd consider a warm bed a miracle. A parent skipping meals so their kids can eat. People who'd consider my 'bad day' an answered prayer.

Suddenly my problems look different. This isn’t about guilt. It's simply remembering what we actually have, of which there is plenty. We just forget and need a nudge.

Your Turn

This week, try one approach: What did you desperately hope for three years ago that you have now? Sit with that for sixty seconds. Notice what shifts.

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Thanks for reading!

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