MICRO MISCONCEPTS

3rd October 2025

Issue# 013

What I Learned When I Stopped Postponing Pain

Ever noticed how the things that cause you the most pain keep showing up in your life? I used to think “that’s just the way it is”. Turns out, there was another way.

I used to dread family gatherings for days beforehand. The anxiety, the fake performances, playing games I didn’t want to play. It was exhausting. But something shifted when I discovered this simple truth: I could either face pain now, or face way more of it later.

Here’s what I learned: when we avoid short-term discomfort, we're not escaping. We’re just pushing it down the road.

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The Math of Avoiding Pain

I started thinking about it like this:

• Face pain now = Pain × 1 (done and dusted)
• Avoid pain now = Pain × 1 + Pain × 1 + Pain × 1... (infinite repetition until we finally deal with it)

My family anxiety came from growing up always feeling "not good enough" compared to others. Every gathering triggered that wound, so I'd avoid the pain by performing. This pattern kept repeating because I never addressed the root cause.

When I finally faced those “not good enough” feelings head-on, something remarkable happened. The next family gathering felt…normal. The trigger lost its power.

Entrepreneur Alex Hormozi says:

I agree, but I found this is only true at first. Once you build that character, life actually gets easier.

A Life Resource Perspective

Here’s another way I look at it. We all operate with finite time and mental resources.

Would I rather spend 3 tough weeks dealing with something once, or waste 1 day every week for the next 10 years managing the same trigger?

The choice seems obvious, yet most of us choose the latter without realising it.
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When we face discomfort early, it’s hard at first. But we earn much higher returns on our finite life resources because we get to use those resources for better things instead of constantly managing the same old problems.

As Ray Dalio puts it:

And if you’re reading this, I’m betting you love progress as much as I do.

Making the Change

Here’s the reframe that changed everything for me: Stop seeing pain as something to avoid and start seeing it as useful information that progress can be made. Every uncomfortable emotion is your brain saying "here's an opportunity to level up—are you interested?"

Think of something that has been bothering you the past week, perhaps something that triggered anxiety, fear or frustration. Instead of your usual response, what if you paused and asked yourself:

What is this uncomfortable feeling trying to tell me?

What opportunity awaits if I leaned into it just a little bit?

The pain is coming either way. The question is whether you'll face it on your terms now, or let it keep consuming pieces of your limited time and energy every time it shows up.

Thanks for reading!

Learn more at misconcepts.org​

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